Building a Foundation

The foundation for our space was built with my father. A fertile grounds for metaphor and reflection into my own relationship with men, structure, and support.

A father is the first man a daughter has in her life - the first man she loves, the first man who says no, who she tries to please and make proud. The man who teaches her what to expect as a woman who is in relationship with a man. The man who teaches structure.

We butted heads, a lot.. Not because we are different people, but because we are so much the same. Stubborn with our perspectives and ways in which we believe is the best way to do something. Skilled in our craftsmanship and focus. Efficient and creative.

The foundation illuminated many things, but the brightest were places to work on. The foundation screamed, “RELEASE CONTROL”. Although your perspective has so much value, it’s not the ONLY perspective with value. There is no one right way of doing something and the only way to truly be successful in building and relating is to recognize this. Value your perspective, and the perspectives of others. Learn flexibility, illuminate tenderness, compassion, and a release on the grip for control of the way something is built.

From reaction, to rebirth. Defensiveness to acceptance. Stubbornness, to curiosity.

All of these tools are a basis / groundwork of really, any relationship. Curiosity, compassion, forgiveness, flexibility, tenderness. Without compassion and forgiveness and an ability to truly understand from a different perspective, the foundation will have cracks and creaks and may even be unlevel, eventually sinking into the ground beneath it. It will lack roots and be poisoned with reaction instead of compassion.

And so here, compassion was born and infused into every screw. Stubbornness was alchemized into tenderness and defensiveness into self-recognition. Here, forgiveness was born, and ultimately intimacy. The true foundation for any successful project and relationship. And there’s still so much work to do here.

These learnings are an invitation into practice. We are not perfect, we are human. We make mistakes, and again, we learn.

xoxo,

Ash